It would make a good way to die a slow painful death. Every time you read the words: chiseled face, perfect face, beautiful face, awe-inspiring face, flawless face, and so on…you drink and then die of cirrhosis. Also, every time you come across a sentence in the book where Bella says, “Don’t go” “I love you more than life” or she’s conflicted about Edward/Jacob you give yourself a paper cut and therefore bleed to death.

There are four books in this series, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. And they all kind of stunk in their own way. The problem with these books, lie in the fact that you have to wade through 400 pages of the worst teen angst and pointlessness to get to one really good, well written chapter where something actually happens. Twilight was just good enough to keep me hanging on to New Moon…and I honestly don’t know why I kept reading after that.

I just really hated Bella. Shallow. Whiny. Boring. Edward…nice but also boring. Any of their heart-to-heart conversations made me want to pull out my eyelashes. Eventually, I just started skipping them entirely. People, who wants love that has that amount of extreme-codependence? Seriously! Bella should just get a needle and thread and stitch herself to Edwards “rock hard chest”. *barf*

The first book had good tension. But I certainly didn’t want to read three more books of that crud. “Where’s the beef?”

I would’ve enjoyed more character development. Less focus on that asinine relationship and more on the rest of the family or Jacob. Seriously. Jacob was a great character and his chapters in New Moon were fun.

Kudos to those of you that loved it. I guess I just didn’t get it. Sorry.

So there’s this book series that has almost completely taken over my life. Well, this book and makeup apparently…but that’s for the next post. BTW: My best friend just got married.

I went to her wedding this weekend, and the flight going to South Carolina was delayed. I had only brought along a little tiny magazine to read, and that wasn’t going to last me all afternoon (since now I had all kinds of time to burn). So I hop into a bookshop, scan the shelves, recall seeing this Twilight book on a friends’ facebook, picked it up and bought it. Three hours later I’m landing in South Carolina and the book is over half finished. If that isn’t physically possible then you’re just going to have to believe me. I finished it before I got on my connection back to Cincinnati on Monday. I hopped off flight one, had enough time to walk down the terminal, through another bookstore, find book #2, buy book, get my ticket in my hand and board the plane. Almost totally seamless. And almost totally pathetic.

Oh. And it’s totally about vampires. I know!

I talked to the bride about the series this weekend, since she had read it, and she said, “How are you liking it so far?”  I came back with, “I just want them to do it already!” Her husband came back with, “Well, now we know what kind of porn you like.” Apparently, I like vampire porn.

Nice. Maybe I shouldn’t have bought the third and fourth books on the way home from the airport……………

So, about ten years ago, I had a little Martha Stewart Living addiction. Specifically, her Weddings issue. I would buy them and quickly hide them so that no one would know that I was planning my non-existent wedding. I loved her style. I followed her trends. I believed it was totally normal to have exotic flowers oozing out of every nook and cranny of your quaint family chapel in the Hamptons. And then I actually had a wedding to plan and pay for and realized Martha is not from this planet.

Anyway, in one of her issues she featured Copperplate calligraphy, and I was instantly struck. I’ve always been interested in calligraphy. I’m more of a typography person, so this is a natural off-shoot. After studying the article for awhile, I finally bought a book and had high hopes to quickly become a master calligrapher.

Well, that didn’t happen. I met Dave and was completely distracted by life. But recently I decided to read up on calligraphy again. I found a website, IAMPETH, and developed a small obsession. Bought some necessary tools, and have been practicing non-stop ever since.

So I’m doing what I wanted to do ten years ago. Realizing that it’s not easy. And that it’s really really addicting.

PS. Please don’t look to closely. Especially at the “q’s”. Scary!