04 May Thank you Lord for Contentment
I just wanted to put it out there, that I’m thankful that God gave me the gift of contentment a couple of weeks ago. Before then, I was in this weird spiral of panic when it came to baby gear. Everything needed to be new. Everything should probably be useful. And everything should probably be awesome. Oh. And have an average of 4.5 stars on Amazon with at least 100 reviews.
The panic spiral set in, when I started getting advice from other Moms saying, “Oh, you can find those cheap on Craigslist.” Or, “Yard sales are coming up! I bet you can find something like what you’re looking for…” And in my head I’m thinking “I don’t want anyone else’s junk!” “This is my first baby! Let me dream a little!”
I literally had a small anxiety attack when the crib I was eyeing was “Out of Stock” online.
It was no way to live.
But thankfully, I snapped out of it. Through conversations with my family, and through personal evaluations of what was truly important…I discovered that the only thing I really wanted new…were diapers and a car seat. Everything else was just fine. Everything else…all of these things that were previously rejected…were fine. What mattered was that I had a healthy baby, I had a clear head, and I wouldn’t regret saving money. I mean…who regrets saving money?! Apparently I was convinced I would three weeks ago.
So this is not a mind-blowing post…but I guess when you have “pregnancy brain” and you can hardly remember the name of your own spouse…a breakthrough moment seems pretty amazing.
**Regarding the lack of posts: I have a terrible habit of writing up rambling blog posts after a good session of navel-gazing. So I’ll write and rewrite and delete and write again…only to save as draft and walk away. So. I’ve been writing…just not publishing. There’s one post in particular that I really want to get out there, I just need the words.**